That Doesn't Make Me a Bad Mom

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about the integration of the various parts of my life. I sometimes feel frustrated, because I spend more time on some areas than I'd prefer, and not as much as I'd like on others.

But one thing that I'm feeling okay about is the time I get to spend with my daughter.

I've gotten some well-meaning sympathy lately about "only" taking just over 3 months for maternity leave. And while I agree that certain things might be easier - such as breastfeeding - with longer periods of leave, I'm really not upset over the length of time I did take. And considering that at 5 months old the baby has still never had a drop of formula, I'm still fitting in my pumping time quite nicely to keep her well fed.

Ya know what? I was READY to go back to work. I was READY to be challenged with something other than avoiding being peed on or pooped on or puked on. I was ready to get out of my house on a regular basis and interact with adults.

And the baby is just fine with me being at work. She's not at daycare. She isn't with a nanny or babysitter every day. She's with her dad, who works nights. And when I get home from work and he heads out the door, I think he's ready to go too.

We both love this kiddo more than anything...but we're both very glad to have careers to balance against our home life.

I've fielded questions about staying home with the baby - or potentially, in the future, if/when we have more kids - and really, it's not an option. I've toyed, on and off, with the thought of taking my freelance writing full time and staying at home to do that. I know I could; I very nearly out-earned my full-time job last year with my freelancing, and only spent half as much time doing it.

But as much as I love writing...and as much as I love the occasional days I work from home with my full-time job...I don't want to work from home every single day, day in and day out. I would go berserk. And all of the activities in the world would not fulfill me as much as my work does.

I believe - barring winning the lottery, in which case all bets are off - that I will always work. More importantly, I believe that I will always want to work. I also believe that I will always get involved in a lot of other areas, including whatever activities the kiddo may get involved in, in the future.

As the baby grows older and our family potentially expands, I'm sure that the various pieces of my life will shift. Perhaps I'll work a reduced schedule in the future, or from home more often. Maybe I'll ditch some of my activities in favor of participating in some with my child. Maybe I'll win that lottery and go plant my entire family on a beach somewhere. Who knows?

But what I do know is that, as tired as I may be at the end of the day or the end of the week, it is still entirely possibly to keep a nice house, spend quality time with both my husband and child, devote some time to both fiction and freelance writing, participate in my many interests and activities, keep up with family and friends...and enjoy both the financial and psychological benefits of maintaining a full-time job.

And that doesn't make me a bad mom.

Stay at home moms and working moms alike - what's your take?