Ever since Big Girl was born 27 months ago, I have joked that I was a part-time single mom.
Afterall, with me working days and Funny Daddy working nights, we didn't always actually meet in the middle...especially when you throw in our "extra" involvements like security work (FD) or writing (me). So whenever I was with my kids, I was likely alone with my kids, doing whatever comes with being alone with the kids: making decisions regarding spending, health, punishment, and more.
So why the name? I felt like this experience was more in line than what single parents face, versus what other moms might. In fact, I still feel like this experience is so unique that I'm about to start a whole other blog about it. (*Want details?)
When I felt overwhelmed as a new mom - and who doesn't? - I started to feel like it was unfair that I was always alone with the kids, always dealing with problems on my own.
But with that thought process, I lacked two things: perspective and self-assurance.
Perspective: I sure as heck wasn't alone with my kids all of the time. In his old job, FD worked 4 of every 7 days. In his new job, FD works 5 of every 10 days. And even when he's at home and sleeping (working nights can be tough!) or at work and busy, I can still count on him for advice and support when I need it.
Self-Assurance: I'm independent. Long before I met FD, I maintained my own household. Since marrying and having children, I've done any number of things on my own with the kids, including lots of balancing and lots of decisions. And I've done just fine, TYVM.
When I finally worked my way around to a better understanding of out-of-the-norm parenting (ok, it only took a few months, not forever! I'm a smart cookie!), I felt totally empowered. I'll bet that's how actual single moms feel when they work their way around to knowing that they *can* handle things on their own, and quite well at that.
What say you, actually and part-time single moms?
*New blog project: Called "The Officer's Wife", it will deal with issues unique to families of police officers and other emergency service workers. I'm targeting it to fill a perceived gap - there are a million billion resources (much needed!! bravo!!) for military families who deal with year-long deployments 3-4-5 times in a 20 year career, but pretty near to zero resources for emergency service works who spend half their days of the year, every year, working in the service of others and often in dangerous situations. I'll announce a "Grand Posting" soon!
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