Thursday Thirteen #23: Why PA is Cool

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It's no secret that I have no intention of moving back to the area where I spent the first 21.5 years of my life: Scranton or Mountainhome, Pennsylvania. I'm perfectly happy here, where the west begins: Fort Worth, Texas. But I've got to give credit where credit is due and call out a few things that are just better there than here...or anywhere else, for that matter. Here we go...

13. Callie's Candy Kitchen, Mountainhome, PA
If you can better candy anywhere...well, you clearly haven't been to Callie's. I loved going here while growing up second to no other store. Between the yummiest chocolates (my mouth is watering this very moment thinking about their chocolate covered strawberries!) and the friendliest hospitality (no one can beat Mr. Callie himself!) this place is the A#1 best.

12. Yuengling Lager, Pottsville, PA
America's oldest brewery also produces America's best damn beer. Don't argue with me over this; I definitely know what I'm talking about. Only drawback: distribution basically limited to Eastern Seaboard states. Which Texas is not. *sob*

11. Delaware Water Gap, PA/NJ Border on I-80
Technically, Pennsylvania has to share this gem with New Jersey, but we'll claim the beauty for it, mkay?  A lot of people talk about visiting New England in the fall to revel in the beauty of the changing leaves.  Skip it!  Instead, simply make the drive across I-80 from PA to NJ through the 'Gap' and you'll see the prettiest view you could imagine.  Love it.  Lots.  I hate winter, not fond of fall, but I'll jump through blazing hoops to be there at season change!

10. Wings, NEPA
If you want wings, go to NEPA.  My own personal favorite is Kelly's, especially on "Wing Night," which occurs every Wednesday.  Pitcher of Yuengling, couple baskets of wings, and life is golden.  Yum!

9.  Pizza, Old Forge, PA
Some people like New York Pizza.  Others say Chicago is the way to go.  I saw pish tosh...go to Old Forge, PA.  Pick damn near to any of the pizzerias, and you'll find that your mouth is saying "New York what?" and "Chicago where?"

8.  Accents, Statewide
You can't really beat the plethora of accents found in the Keystone State.  Travel down to the Amish country and listen to the local dialects of the Plain people.  (Bring a German dictionary; it won't be the same, but it'll help!)  Then come back up to NEPA and attempt to answer the age old question of "hayna or no?"  Have no idea what the question queries?  May take a few more trips back east to learn.  Head west in PA and you can feel like you're in the Midwest without ever leaving the Northeast.

7.  St. Patrick's Day Parade, Scranton, PA
Parade Day is a bigger holiday in Scranton, PA than, well, any other.  But the trick to parade day isn't to find the best viewing location for the floats; it's to plot carefully where you'll start and end the day - and I'm talking bars here, folks.  Big deal stuff.  But ya have to be there to understand - so I highly encourage you to go!

6.  Italian Festival, Scranton, PA
Every Labor Day weekend, the Italians in 'The Valley' respond to the Irish day of drunken debauchery by staging a weekend long eating orgy featuring the best damn Italian food, drinks and desserts you can imagine.  Staged on Courthouse Square, it's an experience that can't be beat at a cost that will leave your tummy, kids and wallet feeling pleasantly pleased.

5.  The Pothole, Archbald, PA
Anywhere else in America, drivers complain to local Departments of Public Works or Departments of Transportation to fill in the annoying potholes that slow down cars and screw up alignments.  But in Archbald, PA, The Pothole is one that will never be filled (ok, that's most of 'em in PA) but will instead be visited both by bemused locals and curious visitors.  Basically just a deep hole in the ground, it's actually considered a park and, well, go see!

4.  Philadelphia Museum of Art, Philadelphia, PA
Have you seen Rocky, or at least have you not lived under a rock at any point during the last 3 decades?  Then do I really need to say more.  Queue the music...and...STEPS!

3.  The Diner, Statewide
There are more diners in PA than residents.  Ok, that's not true, but if you want some truly yummy food anytime of day or night, head to a diner.  I grew up loving the Mountainhome Diner, Scotrun Diner, Glider Diner, and Chick's Diner.  What's your favorite?

2.  Barrett Friendly Library, Barrett Township, PA
This institution puts the friendly in reading.  Although no longer house in the most beautiful old stone building ever, this library should be duplicated all around the world, just to help people learn to love to read again.  I've been in many libraries in many places, folks.  Most remind me of an office building.  Or prison.  Not this one!  Feels like going home to a good book.  Oh, wait. You are.
(Full disclosure: I grew up going to this library, one of the librarians is the mom of my childhood best friend, and one of the others is a first cousin.  Just so ya know...)  


1.  Lewis' Supermarket, Mountainhome, PA
I spent a large part of my childhood and adolescence in this store, either hanging out in the back office, the break room, or  working at the front registers.  I've still never found another store laid out in as sensible a manner, with friendlier checkout clerks, more knowledgeable staff, and a size that says "we got what you need without needing to display 6 varieties of every item and causing you to spend longer grocery shopping than you sleep in a typical day."  If I could bottle this place and bring it to Texas, I would.  In a heartbeat!
(Full disclosure: my dad was a part owner of this store for more than 40 years, along with two of my uncles, and it is now owned by two of my cousins with two more cousins working in it.  Again, just so ya know...)

Happy Thursday Thirteen ya'll and Happy St. Patrick's Day!