Preparing to Check In: CHECK IN!

Welcome to the 1st edition of Tuesday Travel Tips with Tiffany!

When traveling by air, passengers must go through the sacred ritual of the security check. The security check is a necessary process that is often made painful because of traveler's ignorance on what to expect. In order to ease your experience, dear readers, let me offer the following advice:

BE ALERT. BE PREPARED. BE SMART!

Chances are:

• that you're going to stand in line for at least a minute or two before reaching the TSA employee who will be checking your boarding pass versus your legal identification.
• that there are going to be people in front of you in line.
• that there are going to be people behind you in line.
• that if I have to stand in line longer because you're an idiot, I'm not going to be a happy person.
• that if you make the TSA employee's job harder than a minimum wage job should be, they're going to hate you.

So listen up! Here are the rules:

1. Turn off your damn cell phone. Chuckie back at the office can wait another five minutes to hear your prescient remarks regarding the upcoming sales conference. No matter how good you think you are at multi-tasking, your Crackberry is robbing you of precious brain cells that you obviously need to be able to navigate a simple line.
2. Observe - if everyone else in line is doing something, maybe you should consider doing the same thing.
3. Put away your makeup bag - you haven't looked like your driver's license picture since, well, ever.
4. Get out your boarding pass. Um, hello! That's the point of this little line here. Waiting to dig for it until you reach the head of the line is uber annoying and will make the people queued behind you begin to plot your death. Especially if the boarding pass you eventually dig out is for the wrong flight and you spend more time holding us up. If your stupidity necessitates your getting out of line, some of us may try to trip you as you walk past.
5. Ditto your ID. Yes, you need to hand it to the TSA employee. No, you can't simply flash it, TV detective style. GET IT OUT. Don't be fumbling at the last minute. Have it already in hand. No, you can't use your gym membership card. No, your badge from the last Trekkie convention won't cut it. Have your driver's license, state-issued ID card, or passport IN HAND and READY before you even THINK of getting in line.

See, that's not so hard, is it? Watch around you, be alert, think fast, and we'll all have a better experience traveling!

Until next time...

Safe Travels!