My husband was a cop when I met him; it's all I've know him to be as a profession. But not everyone marries into the law enforcement lifestyle.
I'm curious. How many of you were together with significant other before they became a police officer? How many, like me, didn't meet your other half until he was already in law enforcement?
I'm wondering what the over-under on these types of relationship is - is it harder to make the transition into being a police spouse, or is it harder to go into a relationship knowing that it may be challenging, both psychologically and logistically?
I think that it must surely be harder if you suddenly transform into a police spouse. Afterall, you knew a totally different life beforehand. Whereas if you go into it with your eyes open to the realities of this life, you may be better prepared.
But maybe that's just my opinion from my own experience. What do you think?
My husband had been in LE prior to us meeting, but was not a cop when we met as he had just moved to the area and was working in corrections. A little over a year into our relationship, he was hired by a department. It was a very difficult transition. For starters, the hiring process was very intimidiating! I had no idea I would be interviewed as well and they gave us about a ten minute notice that they were coming to our house, so I was caught off guard. Also, there is protocol that I was not aware of either. I was totally unprepared for worrying and I had a hard time understanding why my husband wouldn't talk about things. At the time I was a CPS investigator and there were days we couldn't share a single thing with each other. He could hear others being dispatched to certain situations and usuallly had a pretty good idea of what kind of day I had had, but I didn't have a scanner at work to hear how his day was going. I want to say I'm getting used to it after four years, but in some ways I'm not. But I do know that when he goes on his graveyard rotation that I get a little bummed out, frustrated, and lonely. This was also not something I was prepared for. One of the other things I had a hard time with was dealing with crisis alone - I am rather useless in an emergency and a couple of years ago my son fell and split his head open at ten o'clock at night. My husband had just responded to a suicide (the person was dead) and wasn't available. I feel a little selfish at times that while he is helping others, he is unavailable for his own family. I also feel that whatever I do is secondary to what he does. I can call in sick to take care of a sick child, but he cannot. Had he been an officer when we met, it wouldn't have changed my decision to marry him. He didn't change with the new job, our lifestyle did. I'm still learning how to do my job too, which is to keep things going at home so he can do his job without worrying about what is going on at home.
ReplyDeleteMolly H.