You're Not That Important

Good Tuesday morning to everyone, and welcome to Tuesday Travel Tips with Tiffany! To read previous editions, you can find them here.

Hat tip to D for this timely tip:

"Put the cell phone down when boarding the plane! You can't put things in the overhead and hold a phone."

Sensible advice. Thanks, D!

Seriously, folks. You're. Not. That. Important.

When you were planning this particular trip, did you ask your secretary administrative assistant support staffer to schedule a meeting that would require you to be on the phone *just* as you were boarding?

I swear that people do this. You know. To make themselves look important to their fellow traveler. Mr. My Company Cannot Function Without Me. Ms. Corporate Ladder Climber Even While Midair.

And then there's Even Though I'm Gone I'm Still Your Mom.

"Jonathan. Jonathan. Put that down. What do you mean, how did I know you were holding it? I can hear your sister shrieking about it in the background. Plus, I'm your mother, aren't I?"

Yes, but I wish you weren't. Just for five minutes. If your kid's not on fire, put down the dang phone.

Here are the components for successfully loading an airplane:

1. Get in line.
2. Walk forward.
3. Stow your luggage.
4. Sit down.

The first, second and fourth steps were learned in preschool.  For those of you with stay-at-home-moms, maybe you didn't learn it until kindergarten.  Either way, let's be real - that was at least back in the Reagan administration.  You've surely repeated those motions enough times to master them by now, right?

So let's get back to that all important third step: stowing your luggage.

Ooooh.  Overhead bin.  In a Greyhound bus, it's just "the shelf above your seat."  Airlines spiffed it up.  Either way, you're likely going to need two arms to get the bag you snuck past the unsuspecting agent and loaded with 60 5-pound dumbbells up into this thing.  And no, it's not the stewardess's flight attendant's lady in the plane's (hat tip, George Carlin) problem to do this for you when you are too inconsiderate to put down your phone for 10 seconds.

I'll bet you're that same guy who won't shut down his phone when told so we can get this tin can with wings in the sky.

Seriously.  Have you considered Greyhound?

Until next time,

Safe travels!