Stop. Stop whatever you are doing and go see this site right now. You'll die laughing!
Twitter Reveals How God Created Animals
Watch My Sermon!
Published on
Monday, September 26, 2016
in:
God
,
Sermon
In better news, I was blessed to be able to deliver the sermon at my church yesterday for the second year in a row for United Methodist Women Sunday. My topic was "3 Lessons from Godly Women of the Bible." I didn't know it was being recorded, but it's now up on the church website if anyone is interested in listening to it.
http://www.riveroaksumc.org/sermons
http://www.riveroaksumc.org/sermons
Sharing Sad News
Published on
Monday, September 26, 2016
in:
Divorce Life
,
Life
,
News
There isn't always a great way to share bad news, other than to simply put it out there.
Two weeks ago today, my husband filed for divorce. Today, he is preparing to move out. We anticipate this process to take the next couple months to resolve.
This is an incredibly hard and sad time. If you could keep him, I, and Catherine and Jeffrey in your prayers, we would all appreciate it.
Two weeks ago today, my husband filed for divorce. Today, he is preparing to move out. We anticipate this process to take the next couple months to resolve.
This is an incredibly hard and sad time. If you could keep him, I, and Catherine and Jeffrey in your prayers, we would all appreciate it.
Diary of a Crossing Guard, Day, uh, Something
Published on
Thursday, September 15, 2016
in:
Diary of a Crossing Guard
You know what's worse than cars disobeying the flashing red lights and stop signs on a school bus?
Having another school bus ignore it. Seriously??
Having another school bus ignore it. Seriously??
Diary of a Crossing Guard, Day 12
Published on
Thursday, September 08, 2016
in:
Diary of a Crossing Guard
This morning brought 3 hugs, 1500 pedometer steps, 1 pair of shoes to be tied, the breaking out my first aid kit for the 1st time to treat a big owie, having a very nice woman pray over me, 1 car ignoring the school bus' red lights and stop sign, and 2 people blatantly running red lights, but only 2 families ignoring me and cutting through the teacher's lot instead of using the side walk and no one dumping their kid off into traffic. We'll call that progress!
Also, it's supposed to be 97 today with fairly high humidity. I know I'm the one who loves heat, but if we could drop that temp by about 15 degrees, I'd love it!
Police Department Answering Machine - Funny!
Published on
Tuesday, September 06, 2016
in:
Funny
,
Police Family Life
Hello, you have reached the ____________ Police Department Voice Mail.
Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:
- To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created for yourself, press 1.
- To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2.
- To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.
- If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.
- If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcoholic or chemical dependency, press 5.
- If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.
- To provide a list of police officers you personally know so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7.
- To sue us, tell us you'll have our badge, that you pay our salary, or proclaim our career is over, press 8
- If you plan on emailing the City Council, Mayor, Senator and President, press 9
- To hear this menu again, wrap aluminum foil around your head and turn around three times.
Pay close attention as we have to update the choices often as new and unusual circumstances arrive. Please select one of the following options:
- To whine about us not doing anything to solve a problem you created for yourself, press 1.
- To postulate whether someone has to die before we'll do something about a problem, press 2.
- To report an officer for bad manners when in reality the officer is trying to keep your neighborhood safe, press 3.
- If you would like us to raise your children, press 4.
- If you would like us to take control of your life due to your alcoholic or chemical dependency, press 5.
- If you would like us to instantly restore order to a situation that took years to deteriorate, press 6.
- To provide a list of police officers you personally know so we will not take enforcement action against you, press 7.
- To sue us, tell us you'll have our badge, that you pay our salary, or proclaim our career is over, press 8
- If you plan on emailing the City Council, Mayor, Senator and President, press 9
- To hear this menu again, wrap aluminum foil around your head and turn around three times.
The Real End of Summer
Published on
Monday, September 05, 2016
in:
Beach
,
Memory
I don't care what the seasonal or school district calendars say: the last day of summer is and always has been Labor Day in my world and mind and heart.
It was the last hurrah day down at our condo on the Jersey Shore, the last day of endless sun, one last chance to enjoy the fun.
Then we'd pack up and head back to Pennsylvania the next day, Tuesday, before school went back into session on Wednesday.
Our vacation condo and the entirety of OCNJ was THE happy place of my childhood and I still miss it so. I spent 20 summers there...and now have been gone 15. Time flies!
It was the last hurrah day down at our condo on the Jersey Shore, the last day of endless sun, one last chance to enjoy the fun.
Then we'd pack up and head back to Pennsylvania the next day, Tuesday, before school went back into session on Wednesday.
Our vacation condo and the entirety of OCNJ was THE happy place of my childhood and I still miss it so. I spent 20 summers there...and now have been gone 15. Time flies!
Diary of a Crossing Guard, Day 7
Published on
Thursday, September 01, 2016
in:
Diary of a Crossing Guard
"Other duties as assigned" includes:
-Tying Shoes
-Zipping Backpacks
-Trying to enforce the "no pedestrians in the staff lot" signage
Interesting snippets of overheard conversations today:
#1
Mom: Did anyone poop their pants?
Son: Not yet this week.
#2
Kiddo A: Let's run all the way to my house like Esteban is chasing us.
Kiddo B: No, let's race like the drug lords are chasing us instead.
This is easily the most fun job ever!
-Tying Shoes
-Zipping Backpacks
-Trying to enforce the "no pedestrians in the staff lot" signage
Interesting snippets of overheard conversations today:
#1
Mom: Did anyone poop their pants?
Son: Not yet this week.
#2
Kiddo A: Let's run all the way to my house like Esteban is chasing us.
Kiddo B: No, let's race like the drug lords are chasing us instead.
This is easily the most fun job ever!
